


Severus and the Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad, No Good MLM Crisis

by Moodstabalizer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Severus Snape, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Gay Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Rocky Horror Picture Show References, mlm severus snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moodstabalizer/pseuds/Moodstabalizer
Summary: Severus knew that being gay wasn't a death sentence anymore and that some people could easily flaunt it around without the worry of repercussions. Granted those people were rock stars and celebrities, and not Severus Snape, a 15-year-old in fucking Cokesworth.orSeverus goes to a showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show and realizes that he likes menTW// internalized homophobia, use of queer and poof as slursbetas: @the-bravest-man-i-ever-knew  @myboysnape  and  @lokilaufeysonslytheringo check them out on tumblr!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Severus and the Horrible, Terrible, Very Bad, No Good MLM Crisis

"Sev! please hurry up, I don't want to miss the beginning!" Lily grumbled, pulling her best friend along, down the sidewalk.

"Lily, if you stop pulling on my arm, and maybe let me catch my breath every once in a while, I could go faster."

Lily didn't let go but walked a little slower.

Cokesworth was quiet this time of night. A poor neighborhood, it was far enough away from London, or any other city, that most were already in bed, or at least at home, by 11:15.

"Honestly, why do we have to go to this- what is it called again?" Severus questioned.

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the same movie that I've been telling you about for the past two weeks." 

"And why at midnight?" he asked.

Lily stopped so suddenly, causing Severus to almost bump into her. She spun around to face him, looking him dead in the eye.

Severus shifted uncomfortably.

_ Severus knew what it was called, and why they were going to see it at midnight, but pretended to be clueless so he could deny ever agreeing to see a potentially 'girly' movie.  _

"Did you hit your head somewhere?" Lily finally answered.

T _ o an outsider, this may have seemed like a mean-spirited quip, but Lily and Severus were skilled at insulting each other without pushing any buttons. _

Severus scowled. 

"No," he replied "I just don't listen when you talk about  _ girly _ things" 

_ This was a lie. Severus knew it was a lie. Lily knew that it was a lie. But Lily knew how important it was for Severus to think it was the truth. _

Lily sniffled, then continued walking briskly down the footpath, still pulling on Severus' arm.

"The  _ reason _ we are going to the theater at midnight is that there's only midnight showings this month. You should know this, I had you check for me."

_ Lily and Severus had less than a month before they went back to Hogwarts for their 5th year. The next two weeks would be spent buying supplies for the coming school year, and finally completing their summer homework. This was the only night that they could go, as Mr. and Mrs. Evans were away on an overnight trip, and Petunia occupied with her new boyfriend and bribed with Lily taking over a month's worth of chores. Mr. and Mrs. Snape were often too busy squabbling to wonder what their son was up to.  _

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Lily and Severus arrived at the old theater on the edge of town. They pooled their money and had just enough to buy two tickets and a small bucket of popcorn to share. Taking their seats, they watched the commercials and waited for the movie to start.

At five minutes past midnight, the lights dimmed, and a pair of red lips came on screen and started singing the opening number.

" _ Michael Rennie was ill _

_ The day the earth stood still _

_ But he told us where we stand _

_ And Flash Gordon was there _

_ In silver underwear _

_ Claude Raines was the invisible man" _

The first twenty minutes passed by, with only small interjections by Severus.

* * *

"Why does Brad hate motorcycles?" Severus mumbled under his breath.

Lily quietly shushed him.

* * *

"Doesn't the hunchback kind of look like Malfoy?" Severus whispered while onscreen Brad and Janet were welcomed into the castle.

Lily squinted. 

"A little" she decided, giggling softly.

* * *

_ "Don't get strung up _

_ By the way I look _

_ Don't judge a book by its cover _

_ I'm not much of a man-" _

"Does his cape have shoulder pads?" Lily murmured.

Severus opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. His eyes were glued to the screen as he watched with rapt fascination as Dr. Frank-N-Furter dropped his cloak.

"oh," Lily quietly said, shocked.

_ If Severus had turned his head, he would have seen Lily watching him curiously. _

Severus closed his mouth and settled back into his seat

"Yeah, that cape definitely has shoulder pads," he whispered back.

Lily hummed in agreement.

_ Severus' head was still reeling. He thought the doctor looked -well, he couldn't say pretty, because he was a  _ **_man_ ** _ , and men are not  _ **_supposed_ ** _ to be pretty. (Men aren't supposed to think other men look pretty either, because then they would be poofs, and Severus Snape is  _ _ not _ _ a poof) But the doctor looked- nice? Dressed up in women's undergarments.  _

* * *

_ "The Sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head _

_ And I've got the feelin' someone's gonna be cutting the thread _

_ Oh, woe is me! My life is a misery! _

_ Oh! And can't you see _

_ That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer-" _

" _ Oh, he has a nice face, _ " Severus thought. Then he quickly realized what exactly he was thinking and squashed it down. He wasn't a queer.

_ "-My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go! _

_ And all I know _

_ Is that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer!-" _

"... **_Oh_ ** ." Severus thought. " _ Oh, maybe I am a little queer. _ "

* * *

_ "Whatever happened to Saturday night? _

_ When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright-" _

" _ Okay, maybe a lot queer. _ " Severus mused.

"Is that Meat Loaf?" Lily hissed excitedly, right into Severus' ear, making him jump.

"I.. think?" Severus whispered back. 

_ To be quite honest, Severus had stopped paying attention to the screen after Rocky undressed. His mind was still rolling with the fact that he might like men. _

* * *

The rest of the movie passed quietly, with Severus making note of any scene where he felt drawn to any of the male characters. Now that he was actively paying attention to his feelings, they were... definitely there.

* * *

Lily had noticed Severus was withdrawn on the walk home, barely even humming in agreement while she discussed the film. Lily understood that Severus was working things out in his head. She'd seen the way he'd blush behind his hair when older boys would ask him a question in the hallways, or when the teens of Cokesworth would walk past the two of them swinging on the playground during the summers.

Lily had read up about pureblood customs and had quizzed her dormmates on the magical world. She knew that if Severus liked men, he wouldn't have to hide that fact in Wizarding Britain.

She stayed silent about all of this information, not wanting Severus to get defensive, or pushing down those feelings again.

* * *

Severus' head was racing when he got home. He inaudibly opened the front door and hopped over the squeaky stairs to get to his room. He flopped on the bed and gave his full attention to the thoughts rushing inside his skull. The dam had broken and he couldn't mend it back up again. So he liked... men? What about women? Did he still like them? What even is the word for that anyways? 

Severus dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets and groaned softly.

_ "If Da finds out he'd kill me,"  _ Severus thought  _ "If Mum found out, she'd probably kill me too." _

Severus knew that being gay wasn't a death sentence anymore and that some people could easily flaunt it around without the worry of repercussions. Granted those people were rock stars and celebrities, and  _ not _ Severus Snape, a 15-year-old in fucking Cokesworth.

Severus rolled over onto his stomach and buried his head in his pillow. Was he gay?  _ Did  _ he like girls? He thought of the grocery cashier, Tom, and how nice he was to look at. Severus remembered the few times Lily had taken him with her to the grocers to pick something up for her folks, and how when Tom asked him a question, Severus went red and had a hard time stuttering out a response.

Then Severus thought of the nice teen down the road that patched up his knee when he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk a few years back. And how pretty she was, and how he wished he could have been her friend.

Back and forth Severus went in his head, comparing all of the times he thought someone-regardless of gender- was pretty or was someone that he'd like to kiss. So far, that list included David Bowie, Tom the cashier, the nice woman from down the street, and- Lily? 

Severus sat up quickly and pulled a face at that concept.

" _ No,"  _ he thought  _ "Definitely not."  _ He knew he loved Lily, but it was completely platonic. She was his best friend, and always would be.

_ "Best friends tell each other their secrets."  _

Severus remembers Lily saying that a few months back when she got worried about his home life again.

Best friends  _ were _ supposed to tell each other everything, and Severus knew Lily would be able to help him figure things out. He resigned himself to asking for her help next time he saw her.

* * *

3 days later, Lily and Severus took a beat-up pack of cards to play Go Fish near the creek. The sun was beating down pleasantly on their backs, and there was a gentle breeze stirring the water.

Severus held his cards in his shaking hands, mentally preparing himself to say something to her.

"Hey, Lily?" Severus spoke

Lily looked up from organizing her cards,

"Oh, is it my turn again?" she asked. "Do you have any fives?"

"I-think-I-like-men." Severus let out in a gush of air.

Lily blinked, looked down at her cards again, and said, 

"Oh."

She looked at Severus who looked like he was about to run in panic.

"So... I guess I'll pick up a card now?"

"What?" Severus asked, snapping out of his anxious state. "No, look- here's the five, anyways- did you hear me?"

"Yes," Lily stated, putting down her cards. "I did."

Severus sat silently waiting for whatever she said next.

"You were starting to panic, so I said the first thing that came to mind so you wouldn't work yourself into another breakdown. And it worked, didn't it?"

Severus looked at his lap and gave a sharp nod. He had curled up into himself, trying to seem as small as possible. Lily dropped her cards, crawled over to his side, and dropped her head onto his shoulder. Severus started to relax.

Lily continued, 

"Thank you for telling me. That must have taken courage on your part. You know this doesn't change anything between us, right? I'm still your best friend."

Severus gave a little chuckle, 

"You sound like a pamphlet." he joked.

Lily said nothing.

"Oh, Merlin," Severus said abruptly, "You read that in a fucking pamphlet! You already knew!" 

Lily shoved herself up from Severus' shoulder and turned to face him. 

" _ Yes _ , I already knew, and I wasn't going to say anything until you told me yourself." She explained.

"You knew!" Severus exploded, standing up, "Is that why you took me to see that movie then? So you-"

" _ What?! _ "

" -Could  _ finally _ have me admit that I'm just a big fucking poof! So I could just be- "

" _ No! _ "

" -Your little queer pet- or something? Well, I'll have you know-"

" _ Will you shut up for one minute and listen to me for one fucking minute, Severus! _ " Lily snapped, "You are seeing what you want to see, and not what actually happened!"

Severus snapped his mouth shut with an audible click.

Lily continued, 

"I took you to see Rocky Horror because  _ I _ wanted to see it, and  _ I _ didn't want to go alone! I  _ don't _ think of you as my pet -queer or not- because you are my  _ best friend _ ! Me telling you that you liked men would've just made you shut down on me, and bury all of your feelings! I care about you Severus, and I want you to be happy, and to figure out who you are yourself! I'm not your mum, I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you what's going on in your own head!"

By the end of her rant, Lily was breathing heavily, and her cheeks were wet. Severus wiped his nose and looked away.

"Look," Lily said, "I'm sorry for yelling-"

"Me too," Severus interjected.

"- But just know that you'll always be my best friend, and your sexuality doesn't change that. I didn't bring you to the movie with me for you to admit you were gay-"

"I'm not gay," Severus interjected again, "I like women too."

"Okay," Lily responded "So Bisexual? Pansexual?"

Severus shrugged, looking down at his shoes.

"Point is, I brought you with me so we could see a movie together. There was no hidden motive behind it." Lily finished.

Severus nodded his head again, sniffling. When he looked up at Lily again, his eyes were watery. 

"Sorry," he croaked.

Lily said nothing, but smiled and hugged him tightly. 

"It's alright," she whispered into his chest.

Their height differences made the hug awkward, but it had never stopped them before.

Lily wiped her eyes and stepped back.

"Want to finish our game?" she asked, pointing to the pile of cards on the grass.

Severus gave her a small smile and nodded.

Severus won that game, then the two after that. Normally, Lily would have accused him of cheating, but she couldn't bring herself to snap at him. Severus was laughing openly at all of her jokes, and his shoulders were un-tensed for the first time in months. She could tell that he was happy again. And that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> So there's that. I might make this a 3-part story and add a snegulus and snockhart chapter for Snape's 2 other gay freakouts (please let me know if y'all want to see that)
> 
> Also, here's the movie: https://videa.hu/videok/film-animacio/the-rocky-horror-picture-show-feliratos-film-musical-oUlx0P0UQzBVlWTk (I still have no idea how to put a link in the notes, pls help)
> 
> also if you're like "hey Arson, how did 2 fifteen-year-olds go to see an R rated movie by themselves?"  
> The movie originally was rated (in the UK) as AA. Basically, anyone over the age of 14 (with or without a parent/guardian) could see the movie. Don't worry, it was weird to me too.


End file.
